We are not the Duggars

I had a different post planned for this morning. I was going to ignore the entire Duggar situation, but I can't let it go. After seeing homeschooling thrown around as the cause for his abhorrent behavior, there are things that must be said. I realize I'm a small voice trying to shout over the din of a gigantic crowd in a panic. Perhaps just one in the crowd will hear and change the headline.

Homeschooling does not create or make child molesters.
There. It had to be said. Correlation is not causation. Stop blaming homeschoolers. There are many things Josh Duggar is and was that cannot be blamed for creating a child molester. He's white, did that do it? He's older than his siblings, was that it? No. None of these created a child molester. A child molester was created out of a family that went out of it's way to protect a male child, with total disregard for the females- out of an obsession with biblical purity that did not allow for proper discussions about sexuality, reproduction and most importantly- consent.

I'm so tired of the conversation about homeschooling and socialization, but here we go again. Nearly every single homeschooling family I have met is homeschooling for exactly the right reasons. They know they can do better for their children's education. They take their kids to classes at our public charter, go to the grocery store in the middle of the day, spend hours at the park and in public. They are not afraid of the world.

In our own personal homeschooling life, we are never home. We are in the car, at this event, at that performance, at this volunteer event or at that class. My son spends hours every single day surrounded by kids of all ages and adults of many walks of life. He is "socialized" every day, in any setting.

Guess what? I haven't met any homeschoolers like the Duggars. In the hundreds upon hundreds I've meet in four years, I haven't met a single family like the Duggars. They don't leave their little tight knit, pre-screened, protective community. They homeschool to keep the children contained, protected and away from the "sins" of the rest of the world. They homeschool in complete isolation for control, particularly of the young women. If the Duggars and their friends had created a small, private school the quality of education, topics and situations would have still been exactly the same. When complete and utter control are the key components of your religion, there's little room for exploration, education or conversation. (If you're interested, you can read stories of those recovering from the Quiverful moment at http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/raised-quiverfull-project)

So let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Let's not blame the educational rights that have allowed my son to find his sparkle and his passions while becoming a happy and successful young man. Let's step back and honor the tough educational choices of families with children with autism who spend hours every day, all day working on therapy.

Let's consider the passionate work of all the moms, dads, aunts, grandmas and grandpas I see every day in my work. Each of them has poured their heart and souls into raising successful children. They shouldn't have to defend their choices every day because of one man's horrible choices.

So I'll say it again, once more- loud and clear-

Homeschooling does not create child molesters.