It's the time of year where my job is mostly filled with heartbreaking stories of failure. Where parents often cry on my desk or literally on my shoulder, desperate for an option. Each time I comfort another family, I'm grateful to have the opportunity to be the option but also frustrated and disappointed that yet another traditional school has failed a kid. This is how I see it- that the school failed the kid. As educators, isn't it our job to do better each day by ever kid in our class? How does a school get to the point of failing a kid? Sadly, one day and one struggle at a time.
In just the past two weeks, I have spoken with three different grandmothers from three different families who are taking on the challenge of homeschooling their very young, African-American grandsons. School has failed them and school gave up on these kids, none of whom have even turned 8 yet. How can anyone give up already when a child is only 7? These grandmas are heroes in my book. Each of them is unwilling to be complicit to the horrible injustice of quitting on a child who is not even old enough to cross the street alone. They're going into homeschooling as a last resort, as the only option left on the table, if they want to stay out of the principal's office daily and find the spark in their grandsons again.
When we get a new student, I look at their log entries (where school admins often log discipline, conferences and conversations with parents). How many times can one suspend a 3rd grader for "anger issues", "impulse control" or "difficult to manage behavior"? Sometimes there is a bottomless pit of issues, as I scroll to the second or third page of the kid's record wondering to myself "Why didn't ANYONE help this family before it got to this point?" Why hasn't anyone referred this child to the counselor, or to family support services or even to CPS?
It's not always behavior issues that drive families into homeschooling with my charter program. This time of year we also see a dramatic increase in new families who have students with severe medical issues. From epilepsy to severe anxiety to major surgery, I've seen two families in a week who were tired of asking for help at school and getting handed a huge pile of makeup work, forms and stress instead. I'm 100% positive that no mom facing a child's surgery and weeks in a hospital is thinking "Man, I hope I can keep up with my Common Core math worksheets!"
Everybody's busy. I work a full time job as a school principal with 200+ students on a 60% contract so I can homeschool my own son. It's hard. It's time consuming and emotional and frustrating and stressful. I get it- after 15 years in education I know everyone is busy and tired and focused on the rulebook because that's what's easy. But what's right? Who is asking about that?
It's become painfully clear that traditional school is failing kids. Traditional school failed my most gifted and talented students, my special education students, my students with behavior problems and my students who need a little more of something or anything to be successful. Sure, there might be the most amazing and magical teacher in 1st grade or a really talented administrator who can see the big picture and the little faces in one particular school. But as a system, it's failing. It's a rare kid who is successful, happy and showing growth in school. Shouldn't happy, successful, challenged kids be the norm instead of the exception?
I don't have the perfect solution or the right link to a blog post that will fix it all. But I do have one simple solution. When I sit reading log entries, all I try to think about is "why". Why did this child end up in this situation? Why have they chosen homeschooling now and what can I do to make sure this is the best solution for this family right now? Why didn't traditional school work and what can I do to make sure that doesn't happen again?
Before any teacher or administrator bust out that log entry, that detention slip or that office referral, or before you hand some stressed out mom a stack of makeup work so big you need a rolling cart, STOP. Ask "Why?" Why is this child in crisis mode right now and what can I do besides pile on? Why is this family in this situation and what's my role to help?
It takes just as long to think about why as it does to fill out the detention slip. But in the long run, that thirty seconds might mean the difference between a school failing another kid and a success story. Isn't it worth the time?
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