Parenting 2E Style

Definitions:

2E- Twice-exceptional, that is gifted with a learning disability

2E Parenting- designed to test every ounce of patience you have, and then see if you break when you get pushed a teeny bit further

It's no secret that we left public school to find a better academic fit for the kid. I've taken to saying that he is a very irregular pentagon, that doesn't fit in a box or a round hole. He needs a strangely shaped hole, kind of like one in the game Perfection that you played as a kid. The one with oddly shaped puzzle pieces that launch out if you don't get them all in the right place in time.

That's what 2E parenting is like. Quickly, hurriedly, get all those pieces in- listening to the tick tick of the timer in the back, hoping you can work faster before the game all launches back at you. Only the game is your kid's emotional ability to hold it together without exploding.

Sometimes, I'm really good at Perfection. I'm smooth and quick and all the pieces fall into place. Unfortunately, I'm not perfect at Perfection. Sometimes I can't get all the pieces lined up before the emotions explode. Those days are particularly rough. If you add in homeschooling and working part time with 230 other homeschooling students, Perfection seems to blow up quite often and usually right back in my face.

The kid is amazingly well adjusted for the odd life he leads. We don't talk about specifics much, but including the grade skip he already had in public school, he is three to four years ahead in most academic subjects. This creates a challenge in finding reading material that is challenging and interesting, yet also age appropriate and doesn't introduce life lessons he isn't emotionally equipped to learn yet. Math and history are simpler as we just chug along on a fairly linear path. Science has brought forth some unexpected challenges, like a conversation about prostitution that was unplanned. Who knew that a unit on infectious diseases, viruses and immunity would go well into detail on topics of AIDS and hired prostitutes. I learned my lesson there- I do still need to proofread all lessons in advance.

Since the kid's disability specifically is related to motor coordination, fine and gross motor skills are impacted. He thinks like a high school student and prints like a 2nd grader, but he's 10. It means things that seem like they should take five minutes in my teacher-planning mind, end up taking an hour. It also means very intense emotional responses to the inability to meet his own expectations. If he can think it, why can't he write it down faster and neater, with the precision of a high school thought? If he can explain an algebra problem, why can't he sit nicely in his chair and not fall out of it three times?

Sometimes new families to homeschooling think that they must be the only ones struggling. Clearly they're doing something wrong if it's not all homemade cookies, beautiful cursive copywork and happily skipping children in the neighborhood park. I will be the first to attest that it's not at all like that. I've learned to measure success across days or weeks, not across hours or minutes. If we end the week with inspiration, something gained, something learned and fewer than 5 bouts of Perfection-blowing emotion, it was a good week.

If you're homeschooling, especially if you're homeschooling a child with any sort of special needs, give yourself a hug. You deserve it. It's not always easy. But I can promise you, it's always worth it.