Raising a Reader

I am a reader. My son is a reader. My husband? Well... we tease him mercilessly that he's managed to finish about two books in the past year. As the victim of our harassment, he tries hard sometimes to sit down and read with us, but it's a stretch for him and he often wanders away ten or fifteen minutes in.

My son is never without a book. While many families have to clean out toys and technology from the backseat of the car, in our house it's always books. Just this morning, I took five completed books out and put them back in the library bag to be returned. These aren't quick reads on the way through the carwash- each is well over 400 pages a piece and have each been devoured with a fierce hunger and then discarded to the side when he snatches the next one up to be eaten.

Being a reader sometimes required a thick skin. Not only do your favorite characters make poor decisions, die tragic deaths or leave you on the edge of your seat unexpectedly, but readers also have to wrestle with the judgement of non-readers. As the kid sat in a restaurant waiting patiently for food and inhaling the end of yet another book, I was surprised the waitress couldn't stop staring. After all, who doesn't want a well-behaved kid in a restaurant? I realize it's not "normal" ten year old boy behavior to plop down in a seat, order your meal and crack open the 600 page The Pilgrims of Rayne (Pendragon). She definitely wasn't rude, just befuddled. Several times she started to talk, then stopped, then started, mouth agape and trying to find a way to ask.

Just since July 2013, the kid has finished 35 fiction books and well over 15,000 pages. I haven't ever bothered logging his non-fiction books, but it's probably closer to 20 books. If you ask him, he'll say he should probably read more, because he has a growing stack of "to-read" books and it never shrinks.

How did we get here though? More often than not, people ask me how I managed to get a boy to love to read. It wasn't intentional or planned, so it's hard to say exactly, but I can share, in retrospect, what may have made the difference.

1) Read aloud
From before the kid was born, I've been reading to him. I'd read aloud to him before he was born, not because I was building IQ points, but because if I'd read, he'd stop kicking me so hard! I think the rhythm of my voice soothed him then, as much as it does now. We continued to read aloud for many, many years. While he can now read at a college level, I still read aloud when we have "bibliotherapy" moments (see below) or when he's sick or tired. I'll have him read aloud to me in the car when we're driving and I want to hear the end of a a story.

2) Books Books Books
Seriously. Everywhere. Books. When he was littler and not as enthusiastic, I left books everywhere that might catch his attention. YES, even in the bathroom. In the car, in my purse, in his backpack, on his bed, on the couch. Everywhere. I purposefully chose catchy titles and intriguing covers in hopes that he'd pick it up. It worked often! When he was younger, I chose books like The Magic School Bus Inside the Human Body , Fly Guy #1: Hi, Fly Guy!: Hi, Fly Guy! and Magic Pickle Graphic Novel. As he got older, I chose titles with more intriguing "boy" interests like The Day My Butt Went Psycho (Andy Griffiths' Butt), The Zombie Chasers and Sir Fartsalot Hunts the Booger. Now, I help him choose a series that has a LOT of books whenever possible. As a reader, I know it's so disappointing when your characters that you've fallen in love with or grown to hate, just disappear for months on end! Now he'll read series like Pendragon or Percy Jackson.

3) Forget about the level
Whatever you can do, however you can, forget about the level. The kid's "appropriate" reading level is Lexile 1200+. Last I looked, the first book on the Lexile website recommended for him was a history of Jack the Ripper. Did I mention he's 10? Not...gonna...happen. I encourage you to let your reader READ! They'll choose books they love and books that are intriguing if you make them available. If you're not a homeschooler and you're getting pressure from the teachers, ask them why it's important and ask for book recommendations in that level. When the kid was in traditional school, his teacher insisted he read at his level. When I asked her for a reading list, she was shocked to discover what was on it and dropped the whole matter quickly. Sometimes, teachers just don't know. I also think it's hugely important that kids be allowed to read what their friends are reading, regardless of the color sticker, lexile level or AR quiz. Readers encourage readers and we never want to dampen that!

4) Encourage them to try new things at new levels
Ok, I hear you saying "But wait, you just said forget the level!" Yes, but that doesn't mean they can't stretch. If you have a sci-fi lover, maybe you want to stretch them into fantasy a little. A historical fiction lover might push into some more historically accurate books, or divert into a fun, light historical nonfiction series like Horrible Histories. Don't force it, just leave them laying around and see what happens.

5) Use Bibliotherapy to address problems
While Some of My Best Friends Are Books is targeted to gifted readers, it would really work with any family. I use it constantly to get book recommendations for whatever frustrations or problems my son might be having. If he's feeling lonely, left out or bullied, there are books for that. If he's not so sure how to make a new friend or afraid to take a risk, there are books for that too! Even though he's 10, I'll still pick up picture books that have a great story with a lesson, particularly those by Amy Rosenthal or Peter Reynolds. Short, sweet and to the point, without being overly moralistic, it gives us a talking place and characters to discuss without getting too personal.

Every parent that's raising a reader shares a secret understanding. How many of you have ever steered a kid in the parking lot because he had to finish the last chapter? Picked up a way-too-big kid to put in the grocery basked at Costco, so you could shop while they read? Had to confiscate a book at bedtime, just to the kid would sleep? Yep... you're raising a reader! Me too, my friend. Next time you get a strange look from a waitress, just know you're part of a super-special reader club!