Making Your Own Tribe

When we first started out homeschooling, it was difficult to find a social group that met our needs, schedule and style of homeschooling. As I discuss in my book, in our area, the two largest homeschooling groups are also very Christian and require you to sign a statement of faith and meet a dress code to join. Neither group is welcoming of families that use a charter school or other public funds to homeschool. Since that didn't fit our belief system or style, we were left wandering a bit trying to find the right mix. We tested out several groups and they tested us. While we found one that works well philosophically, it's a thirty minute drive each way, making it not very useful for daily or weekly social interaction.

Our charter school has an actual school site, which is very convenient and helpful for some experiences. But we were still looking for that fun, casual group that we could plan activities, field trips and events with and still turn the kids loose at the park or just make a mess.

Enter Super Secret Science Club. My son's invention- a club of kids that like to do science experiments that is entirely invitation only. We are committed to secular science, once a month. Though we do have some members that are religious, they are not primarily homeschooling for religious reasons. I'm careful to note if any topic of the might be controversial to their belief system so they can decide whether or not to participate.

Where we could not find a tribe before, we have made our own. Our monthly science adventures have included classes on orienteering, squishy circuits, pollution and oil spills,  chemical entomology (that is bugs that do chemical stuff), field trips and more. Our last day for this school year was Messy Science. Mentos geysers, alka-seltzer rockets, hovercraft and a game of tag at the park.

If you can't find a group that meets your needs, make your own! While science was a natural fit for us, it might not work for you. Other groups we've met are doing book clubs, weekly poetry teas, park days and more. Make it as simple or as complex as your family needs. We've learned to keep it small for easier coordinating and to reach out to different businesses and organizations to help run our classes. Costs vary from $1-2 for supplies to $15 for a two hour class, depending on what we're doing any given month. I use a google doc to keep track of who is coming and and who has paid. Once you start, it's not nearly as difficult as you may think!

Free time

Spending nearly twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with someone is trying of the patience of both parties. Most moms are so excited, though a bit sad and nervous, when their little one finally reaches kindergarten age. YES! Maybe time to shower without interruption, savor a grocery store trip with one less child or read an entire magazine alone. That time is precious and well-deserved for any mom or dad! 

This time is also often the first thing that moms, in particular, ask me about in regards to homeschooling. They will comment like “Oh I could never do that, I value my alone time” or “It must be so hard to be together all that time every day!” I completely understand that perspective and the three years my son was in public school were marvelously filled with free time, career and hobbies. However, as I was spending more and more time at his school, meeting with teachers and administration seeking appropriate academic environments for him, it became clear that my hobby had become advocacy. This wasn’t my intention, nor a hobby I would have chosen on my own. It was just the nature of the situation and what was required for him to get the quality of education he deserved. As my career and free time was dwindling rapidly, it seemed to make more sense to use those advocacy hours on schooling him myself.

Do I miss free time? Absolutely. I had the luxury of working part-time, which both fed my brain and kept me from getting bored. It also gave me time to have lunch with friends, work on projects around the house and to run errands alone. I was able to accomplish so much in those few days off of work that our weekends were free for family time and we rarely had chores that got in the way. 

Now, wrapping up year two of homeschooling and looking at year three, I realize the kid and I have hit a beautiful rhythm. Assuming he is on task, we can accomplish his schoolwork by 2pm on just about any day. That leaves us several hours of free time each afternoon. I’ve encouraged him to come up with independent projects so that I can use the time to read, make a grocery list, write or pay bills free of interruption. Sure, the independent projects often veer into playing Minecraft with friends online, but they just as often result in reading, working on a digital art project or building a massive Lego creation.

My friends also deserve a big high five and a hug for being so understanding. We try to have lunch together at least once a month, even with my perma-shadow in tow. He’s no fool- he knows that if he cooperates and reads a book at another table patiently, he’ll get the bigger half of the cookie. He also fully understands that a happy mom, means a happy teacher and that all leads to a better school day.Speaking of free time, our rhythm also means I get to spend more time baking. The kid has a strange sense of humor and requested this dairy-free "cheese" cake for his birthday party. His dairy-allergic friends appreciated his funny joke. 

Summer- Live it up!

I've gotten a lot of questions from readers, friends and family about how we handle summer in an Academic Homeschooling family. I can promise, our summer is just as summer-y as traditional school families, with a few twists!

Summers of my childhood are filled with memories of playing in the empty fields, making dandelion launchers, breaking my parents' garage door by trying to ride on it. My brother and I rode our bikes to the local Dairy Queen for ice cream on special occasions and generally wandered the neighborhood with all the other kids. 

Summer in my neighborhood isn't like that anymore. Most of our friends have full-time jobs and their kids are in daycare all summer, all day. Families try to take their vacations before school starts up again. I cannot remember the last time I saw a kid riding a bike down the street in my neighborhood. It's just not like that where we live.

So that leaves an interesting conundrum for our family. Summer is time to discover interests, passions, take on projects and lounge by the pool for hours. We wholeheartedly support this as a family! We indulge a few summer wishes like "I want to spend an entire day playing Minecraft without leaving the computer." We also travel, go camping with friends, take the long hot days to start a new project like building a 3,000 piece Lego shop or playing cup bowling on our long tile hallway.

The other opportunity that we use summer for is exploring independence. The kid has attended a sleep-away camp the past two summers and will tackle two camps this summer. He goes completely unplugged, off into the hands of international college students and a well-established camp philosophy to learn how to kayak, slingshot, build log forts, sing silly songs and play poker in the cabin on a rainy day. It's about life experience too- learning to trust others, be brave and resilient. This year, he will also have a video game design sleep-away camp on a college campus. It will be a completely different experience for him, to have one single goal and project to accomplish in one week. 

Summer is the perfect time for Academic Homeschoolers to take advantage of enrichment camps, day experiences and filling your child's emotional and social buckets full of adventures. The kid will have a half-day camp week at the local SPCA learning how to take care of animals and prepare them for adoption. In a completely opposite direction, he'll also have a full-day camp week in 3D printing and CAD design. He'll also have six weeks of plain boring summer. We like to mix it up around here! 

I encourage you to consider spending some of your homeschool budget on a high quality camp, whether it's day or overnight. The opportunity to explore something completely outside of your home, your realm of knowledge and your family's focus will develop a new sense of exploration and adventure in your child. Sure, as a mom it's completely panic-inducing to drop your kid off in the mountains and not hear from them for a week. But the stories, the smiles and the skills he comes home with will be worth every single near heart-attack moment. 

For camps near you try the American Camp Association, your local park and recreation or Google your major metropolitan area and "day camp".  

Choosing Curriculum for the New Year

Researching curriculum, reviewing curriculum, and reading curriculum are three of my most favorite parts of homeschooling. Then comes the worst part, the most difficult challenge of all- actually choosing the curriculum. It feels like torture to let go of something I've spent so much time exploring! But late spring means that it's time to put in the curriculum order for the new year and time to begin breaking up with curriculum I've come to love.

We homeschool through a public charter school in California. There are many different deviations of this model, some of which give parents a fixed dollar amount to spend in selected vendors. Our model is a physical charter that holds classes and purchases curriculum for the families to check out each year. We have access to more than 70 classes, a typical school administration, a library and traditional school activities like Science Fair. There are definite pros and cons to this model. In our case, my son's expensive fencing lessons would be paid for by the school in a different model, because they count as PE. In our model, we pay out of pocket.

Our charter offers a huge variety of curriculum for the classical homeschooler but can be somewhat limited for Academic Homeschoolers. Because it is a K-8 charter school, the curriculum library does not contain anything beyond 8th grade. For most kids, this wouldn't be a problem. However, for us, we often find we have to purchase our own materials to cover the kid's academic needs. 

The kid is a sixth grader on paper this year, though his academic needs are pretty varied. So far, this is our plan for the 2013-2014 school year. It may change, depending on progress in the next few months! For those interested in purchasing curriculum, I have included links where available.

Literature/English

Wordly Wise Book 7

The Writer's Jungle

Free reading- with the school's 40 Book Challenge

Mathematics

Art of Problem Solving- Algebra 1 (We recommend buying from Horrible Ray)

Descartes Cove and Khan Academy as supplemental

Science

Intellego Units in Evolution and also Plate Techtonics/Geology

Our monthly hands-on science club will continue

Social Studies/History

Intellego Units in Ancient Civilizations (covering China and India)

Story of Science- Aristotle Leads the Way

Student Quest Guide (the accompanying workbook)

Electives-

We're still tossing this around. Perhaps blacksmithing with a local co-op, or some improv acting classes. We'll be adding in a musical instrument this year but which instrument is still a family debate!  The kid will also continue dabbling in coding with Code Academy and working on digital art using Anime Design Studio. 

Signing up for another year

The interesting situation of Academic Homeschooling means that we have natural breaks in our school life where we contemplate "Should the kid go back to school?" In our area, most schools are K-5, 6-8 and 9-12, though we do have a few 6-12 schools.  Since on paper, my son is finishing up 5th grade, it was logical to have the discussion of whether or not he should go back to traditional school in 6th grade.

While I think every homeschooler has these moments, wondering if it's time to send the kids back to the brick and mortar building, it seems to come up more in families that are not homeschooling against a system. We have friends that have always homeschooled and always will, up until the day that Junior moves out for college/trade school or marriage. Our other friends that fell into homeschooling due to medical reasons, academic reasons, military reasons or a host of other situations, wrestle with this every single year. Is this the year? What about next year?

We live in a district with a high proportion of charter schools that have lottery-based admissions. The most likely entry point is 6th grade. By default, most people who are looking to make a change- either from homeschooling to school or from school to school, have to make it in the winter of 5th grade. It's a huge decision because whatever you choose feels like it locks kids in for the rest of high school. It's painstakingly difficult to look at your 10 year old and try to determine what kind of person he will be in seven years and which high school is the best option.

After all the thinking, the pros and cons lists and the debates and discussions, we decided to forget about it for a year. My son is happy, sleeping well, as access to a huge amount of experiences, curriculum and life discoveries that he wouldn't have sitting in a classroom 8 hours a day with two more hours of homework. As I've said before, my irregular pentagon doesn't fit nicely in a square box anyway. I'm confident that the time will come when going to traditional school is a no-brainer and doesn't cause us to feel so tortured by the decision.

In the meantime, why would we want to give this up?